New moon today: A sliver of hope
I want to learn to truly receive.
I was trained for giving.
I want to receive the way the sun-parched earth
Allows itself to be saturated by early morning rain,
The way a summer kiss, slow and deep,
Ignites my body with liquid fire,
Makes my back arch and my blood moan.
Everyday the Beloved offers all that I need.
I want to learn to truly receive.
I want to learn to truly receive.
I was trained for giving.
I want to receive the way the sun-parched earth
Allows itself to be saturated by early morning rain,
The way a summer kiss, slow and deep,
Ignites my body with liquid fire,
Makes my back arch and my blood moan.
Everyday the Beloved offers all that I need.
I want to learn to truly receive.
Posts
Your post drove tears to my eyes, a flood of grief, sadness, longing. Looking out into a glorious morning, opening up to receiving fully seems a tantalizing possibility - and then there is the awareness of fear, like running up headlong against an invisible membrane. If I let go into receiving, opening up, if I fully acknowledge the sham of a fortress built out of shaming and fear, if that whole construct goes puff.... I know it's artificial, yet the fear... If it evaporates, what contains me? Letting go completely, abandoning myself to fully receiving - it's orgasm, like you say, arching back and all. No control, yet all powerful, abandoning reason, bursting into the unknown. What will contain me, what will define me? I fear the energy unbound.
ReplyDeleteThank you for stirring my apathy.
Meh, I am guessing the fortress was constructed at a time when you needed it to survive. Dismantling is generally best done one plank at a time- otherwise, we risk retraumatizing ourselves and have the fortress reinforced. Letting go of one defense at a time may not sounds as . . . . sexy :-) but it has a much better chance of rendering us capable of really, truly receiving. Thank the self that constructed the fortress for your survival- tell her you appreciate it, but you don't need it now, she can stand down and take a break. Oriah
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