Monday, December 19, 2016

Loving the Real

It's a great time of year to learn how to let go of the ideal, and love the real. The problem with chasing the ideal- whether it is an cherished idea of how we, or others, or our community or our world "should" be- is that is stops us from seeing and loving what is. And yes, what is, is generally messy- with the glorious and the not-so-glorious all mixed together.
        Sometimes we try to love with the semi-conscious agenda of making ourselves, others, or the world "better." But love- the kind we hope will hold us when we are afraid and confused- has no agenda. Consider- how loving does it feel to be loved for who you "could" or "should" be in the eyes of another?
        Yeah. Not so much.
        So perhaps we could start with the one we see in the bathroom mirror each morning- especially this week when we may have expectations or hopes of seeing someone more together, less tentative or outspoken, more generous, less overwhelmed than that woman in the mirror who looks like she just wants to go back to bed.
        Oh, it's not that we can't take actions that might change what is (that coffee and shower can do wonders for the woman in the mirror.) but if we start from a place of loving what is our movement throughout the day becomes less driven and more dancing. ~Oriah

Karen Davis at Open Door Dreaming helps us love what is by offering daily photos like this one of the beauty that is our world.


  1. Hello Oriah, first and foremost, I want to share my gratitude with you, your words of wisdom and shared stories have had a tremendous impact, and I must thank you for that. I have been struggling spiritually for what seems like forever now. I am searching for myself, my purpose, and what it all means in this one short life. I struggle with wanting to live passionately for myself and living too much for others. The truth of what I should do, of what is real is ever-present in my consiousness, but it sits like a prisoner behind bars with no way to escape. I hope and pray and practice to change in order to live and live with fire.

    1. Heather, sounds like it has been a challenging year. Living what it true for us, while contributing to the world and participating with others all in a sustainable way- is a life-long process. The one thing I do notice is your description of purpose being, "the truth of what I should do." Should would be what my friend Peter would call "the weasel word" in that phrase- meaning that it (shoulds, obligations, duty, ideals etc.) might be what is obscuring your clear sense of how you want to live your life. Just a thought- if it is not helpful please ignore it! Much love and many blessings for you in 2017, Oriah

  2. Your words were very helpful and thank you again! Much more love to you as we step into this new year!