Letting Grace Find Us

Recently I did a bit of a solitary retreat- fasting (from social media, news reports, socializing, food etc.) and taking much more time with my daily practices of prayer, meditation and writing. One of the first things that came up was a question of availability- how available am I to the guidance of Spirit, the movement of the Mystery, the Grace of that which is larger? It's so easy not to be available- to fill our days and our moments with movement, sound, conversation, media. . . with a lot of distractions. What happens when we are not distracted? When we are still and quiet? Can we be quiet when there is noise we can't control? (I ask this as the concrete next to my apartment building is being mechanically pulverized.)

I had just finished reading "Falling Into Grace" by Adyashanti, which no doubt help prompt these ruminations. Grace- unearned blessings that come to us (not always in the form we hope they will)- has to be received. We have to be available to grace. And I realized that that was really what my daily practices were- ways to make myself available to a grace beyond my comprehension.

Karen Davis at Open Door Dreaming takes magnificent photos like this one. I am guessing that going out to the wilder places and being fully present to take these photos is one of the ways in which she makes herself available to grace- and I am grateful. ~Oriah

The Crack Between The Worlds

Oh how I love the liminal seasons, the places inbetween where change is observable, daily, and spectacular. Spring and autumn start today (depending where you are on our tiny blue-green planet.) Here the temperatures have mercifully dropped, and the first leaves are spiralling to the ground. Today, the darkness and the light are equal, a great day to ask ourselves where we are out of balance, where we need more time dreaming in the dark or dancing in the light. So may it be. ~Oriah

Karen Davis at Open Door Dreaming photographs so many spectacular images of dusk and dawn- the daily liminal. I am grateful as her photos always remind me of the crack between the worlds where magic lives.

The Magic of Stillness

Sometimes when I am quiet enough, when I have let all my seeking and trying come to stillness like small children who have played hard all day and now tumble down to the ground around me finding sweet rest,

sometimes in those moments, I feel a spaciousness that is both what I am and that Sacred Mystery which is larger.

In those moments, living with a heart open to all of it, loving myself and each other and the world as we are right now, feels surprisingly possible and magnificently healing. ~Oriah

With gratitude to Karen Davis for this photo from Open Door Dreaming. 

Talking To Trees

Lately I've been talking to trees. I live in a small apartment in downtown Toronto. For the first time in a year, I was allowed to open my balcony door. (It had been locked because of construction.) A few health snaffoos had made it difficult to get out for awhile so I was thrilled to be able to step out into the cool morning air. I just sat there and looked up into the trees -maple, oak, hemlock- in the small park right next to my building. I lost myself in the constantly moving light and shadow- a thousand shades of green. I felt each tree as a being, a presence reminding me of how I, like them, am a manifestation of the Mystery belonging to the Earth. I felt something I didn't even know was hanging on, let go in the centre of my body. I sat with the trees for a long time. And when I spoke the words arose of their own accord. softly spoken and salted with tears. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. ~Oriah (photo by Ian Patterson)

By the Light of the Moon

Full moon tonight and a lunar eclipse when the earth, sun, and moon line up with the earth between the other two. Lots of symbolic ways to think of this- for me, I see it as the moon reflecting a moment of complete alignment between the sun (often associated with masculine energies) and the earth (associated with the feminine)- a glimpse of the sacred marriage we long for within and between us. In my imagination the moon tonight mirrors our soul longing to find and know ourselves to be Beloved.

I am so grateful for all of your prayers and good wishes for me- it has been a tough month health-wise, but the migraine is lifting and my heart feels light.

May our deepest longing find us tonight- and may we have the courage to let it guide us in our lives and in co-creating the world. ~Oriah

Karen Davis' photos at Open Door Dreaming remind me again and again of the beauty created by the alchemy of sun and earth.

Just For Today

Thanks to a Facebook friend for reminding me of my own words from a year ago. Health challenges keep me focused on the present moment. Writing comes in small pieces, like the ones mentioned here. Old friends come to visit. I am so grateful for the day. These words are just for today. Just for this moment, this slow inhale. . . this soft exhale They are bits of green sunlight filtered through leaves Small shadows moving across the grass They are not for posterity They do not promise prosperity They do not pretend to be other than what they are: The way I get through The way I taste joy, bear sorrow, and feed hope The way I remember that each moment is holy These words are just for today ~Oriah "Mountain Dreamer" House (c) 2017 Deep thanks to Karen Davis at Open Door Dreaming for this photo. Somehow this little guy and his shadow just felt in sync with my words.

Finding Sustainable Action

How do we do this? That’s really always the question, isn’t it?

How do we effectively participate in meaningful change in our shared world in a way that is sustainable and true to who and what we are?

How do we stay informed enough to do what needs to be done without crossing the line into immobilizing overwhelm and despair?

I blew that last one more than a few times over the last two weeks. I took in too many stories and images of children being separated from parents and put in cages, of people fleeing violence being arrested. For some of us who were abused as children, even after years of therapy and healing, too much of this news lights up our Autonomic Nervous System like a Christmas tree. And when that happens, the thinking brain- the one that might come up with useful actions or remember where I put the keys I just had in my hand- is only intermittently available.

My dreams became violent, and the exhaustion went way beyond the “normal” that comes with CFS/ME. Migraines came and stayed for days. Joints and muscles screamed in the protest language of fibromyalgia pain. Brain fog prevailed- I got lost trying to drive out of a parking garage!

Still I was hesitant to limit my intake of news. I was having a hard time with it? What about the people who were living it!? Shouldn’t I at least bear witness?

Bearing witness can be important, but it’s no replacement for taking effective action, and sustainable, effective action requires energy and discernment. This is a marathon, not a sprint. I need to be conscious about what news to take in when. (Yeah, first thing in the morning or right before bed- really not good.)

And I needed to take action, to contribute. Once again, I remembered the words of Arthur Ashe: “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”

So, I've been writing letters to politicians and agencies who could make real change- supporting them, challenging them, urging them to do what is needed. I've donated to organizations helping on the ground. And I've been praying- for those directly devastated by inhumane policies; for those working to alleviate suffering; for those in power- that their hearts be opened.

But it doesn't feel like enough. And again I run into the brick wall of my own present-moment limitations. You’ll notice that the second sentence in Ash’s sage advice is, “Use what you have.” Not- do what needs doing even if you do not have the resources needed to pull it off. My health challenges make going to large demonstrations, marches, and meetings unwise.

Meanwhile, because of what is happening in the US, refugees have been arriving here in Toronto in growing numbers over the last month. So, I started looking at volunteer opportunities with organizations that offer assistance to refugees here. I am still in that process- talking to organizations and seeing how I might participate even though my language skills are zip and my health is unpredictable. But I do have a willing heart, daytime availability, and a car!

And the only way my own limits are bearable when I see how others are suffering, is to feel how I am part of community. Because no one can do it all. Because we need to take turns helping so we can all replenish regularly and find sustainable action.

This weekend I am going on an annual trip to a friend’s cottage with three other women. We have done ceremony together for over thirty years. We will sit on the dock, float in the lake, share meals made with love, and come to stillness together in ceremony. I have suggested a rule for this year’s gathering: No talking about the news except in the context of shared prayers. I am guessing that will lead to a lot of shared prayers.

So, I will be offline for awhile. I leave you with these words from The Talmud very much in keeping with Ashe’s advice:

“Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.”

Blessed be. ~Oriah

Deep thanks to Karen Davis at Open Door Dreaming for this photo I titled, "The Mirroring" when I saved it- as above, so below.