How To Begin Again and Again

Well, here we are- the end of January. Attendance at the yoga class has begun to fall off, new gym memberships purchased at the first of the year have started to disappoint. (I understand- for years I secretly believed if I rustled up the money to pay THAT should get me in shape- but apparently not.) Friends who declared they were going gluten-free are slipping into "lower" gluten food plans or have stopped reading labels altogether.

Here's the thing: if you find yourself repeatedly vowing- with great sincerity and hopefulness- to do something you feel will add to your life in a positive way (exercise regularly, eat a particular way, meditate daily, write weekly . . . . etc.) and then find yourself sneaking out of the house without doing these things (sure that your cat is looking at you with condemnation) there is a chance that you don't really want to do the thing you declare you do, but rather, think you "should" do it.

I've read a lot of books about writing (a favourite passtime for writers avoiding the unfinished manuscript.) One of the pieces of advice that stuck with me was from Pat Schneider's book, The Writer As An Artist. Pat says, if you find yourself not writing (after you've said you are going to or that you want to) and you are able to quit- quit! And, she continues, if you can't quit, then you may as well sit down and write.

I think what she was trying to say is, if you say you want to do something but aren't doing it, maybe you don't really want to do it, or you like the idea of doing it, but the thing itself does not appeal.

I've written almost every day of my life since I was about twelve. I can't quit, so I keep writing.

Sadly, my relationship with exercise and yoga is not so compulsory. I can quit. Of course, when I do I get stiff and sore, I have less energy and am less centred. But the negative feedback is gradual, easy to ignore for at least a few weeks (unlike eating gluten which results in a migraine within twenty-four hours- pain is a great incentive to stay on track.)

So, what to do about the things that we want to do, say we'll do, the things we don't want to quit even though we neglect them horribly for long periods of time?

How do we begin again. . . . and again. . . . . and again?

Yes, by the end of January, it's Begin Again Time.

And here's a few things to consider: Is there a way to receive the benefits (equanimity, income, physical fitness etc.) that you'd hoped would come from the thing you vowed to do that could be done more easily than the way you have chosen? We don't get any "points" for doing it the hardest possible way. Actually, the Big News is that no one is even "keeping score," so we may as well find what is needed in the most sustainable way.

Sometimes this means reconsidering how we do what we are trying or wanting to do. Can't do forty-five minutes of meditation in the morning? How about ten? How about five in the morning and five in the early evening? How about a walking meditation before you hop on the bus in the morning? Finding it hard to get to the gym? How about a walk at lunch instead?

Many of us (and I am the poster girl for this) tend to have an all-or-nothing attitude toward our resolutions and intentions. But life- real, messy, uncontrollable, daily life- as a human being, is rarely all-or-nothing in any area of being, is more of a this-is-the-best-I-can-do-now practise.

I do a daily practise. Want to know the secret about doing a daily practise of any kind? Each day I begin again. I don't count the days, don't commit to "the rest of my life." I begin today. Oh, I also don't throw the decision open for inner discussion daily. I just go to the cushion, sit down and begin where I am- whether enthused or reluctant, energized or exhausted- I begin again.

Oriah House (c) 2014

Would love to hear your thoughts/questions about beginning again and again. Tomorrow, Thursday, January 30th I am going to have a discussion with Janet Conner about how we can find renewed energy and heart to begin again live on her show at http://www.unity.fm/program/TheSoulDirectedLife at 11 am PT, 1 pm CT, 2 pm ET.