tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3524364334037666877.post376741612930518345..comments2024-03-25T15:16:59.631-04:00Comments on The Green Bough: My Mistake With A VampireOriahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153842083329682011noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3524364334037666877.post-29034968823772719562012-09-01T16:38:56.800-04:002012-09-01T16:38:56.800-04:00thank you Oriah. Irenethank you Oriah. IreneAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3524364334037666877.post-63911577830704626512012-09-01T02:05:11.093-04:002012-09-01T02:05:11.093-04:00I can honestly say I could have written this post ...I can honestly say I could have written this post myself. Your words ring out so true to my own. I've allowed too many emotional vampires into my life, including myself. Too the point that I need total solitude for a while. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3524364334037666877.post-43176366809217871162012-08-31T09:35:19.221-04:002012-08-31T09:35:19.221-04:00I so relate to this post. There was a woman in my ...I so relate to this post. There was a woman in my life who worked with me so I was around her a lot. Her energy was so draining I finally had to cut the cord. In doing so, I lost a worker but I gained peace again. I love her and feel compassion towards her, but know I cannot be in her space. I went through guilt after cutting the cord and even had others call to tell me how much I'd hurt this person. It was tough and I got through it by sending her love and blessings. Great post.brenda marroyhttp://brendamarroyauthor.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3524364334037666877.post-29838153568639998062012-08-31T08:49:58.911-04:002012-08-31T08:49:58.911-04:00Irene, your English is fine (and much better than ...Irene, your English is fine (and much better than I am in any other language :-) I think your response to others is a compassionate one. The trouble arises when we do not include ourselves in that circle of compassion. It's more than okay to offer a listening ear when we have the energy to do so, but we do need to learn where, or with whom, or when we simply cannot do this. I would suggest that what we feel when we make this change is not just guilt (because we were taught we should always be available to everyone- which is impossible!) but shame. The difference is shame says, "There is something wrong with who you are" (not just with what you are doing)and always cripples us. Shame does us- and others- no good at all. May you find a way to include yourself in your own compassionate consideration. :-)Oriahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13153842083329682011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3524364334037666877.post-82903853733202119132012-08-31T07:25:01.106-04:002012-08-31T07:25:01.106-04:00Hey Oriah, firts: sorry for my english, now I'...Hey Oriah, firts: sorry for my english, now I'll try to express myself in a foreign language 'cause ypur post it's really important to me. <br />I'm always feeling guilty everytime I decide to NOT listen someone,to not give to that person my time and my attention, to a person that I find oppressive or simply not good for me and wants to talks with me (a lot and about privates things). I become suddenly this though "maybe she/he ist simply alone, maybe she/he needs help,maybe I'm too intolerant". I live like a failure do not find a way to communicate in peace and reciprocal enjoyment. But in this way I become a lot of stress! Thank you for your attention and patience, I'm not easy to read! IreneAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3524364334037666877.post-15688413471988235632012-08-30T20:37:17.544-04:002012-08-30T20:37:17.544-04:00Mieke,absolutely agreed- much easier if it is an o...Mieke,absolutely agreed- much easier if it is an option to step away completely. In this case the step away was temporary- there are conditions that make some future contact necessary and inevitable- and holding boundaries while still being in contact is the real challenge.:-)Oriahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13153842083329682011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3524364334037666877.post-38771765152280984662012-08-30T15:42:41.215-04:002012-08-30T15:42:41.215-04:00beautiful written
and so true...
good for all of u...beautiful written<br />and so true...<br />good for all of us to know and hear that we are all making mistakes as we walk closer to ourselves...it is the way<br /><br />love and lightCathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17311096820476094303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3524364334037666877.post-49419956686067281942012-08-30T15:30:03.355-04:002012-08-30T15:30:03.355-04:00A couple of things- I think people like this can b...A couple of things- I think people like this can be unconscious of their effect on others, and in fact would be shocked and hurt and even deny that they do that. Second, it's one thing if you decide to cut off contact (which can be perfectly legitimate, and I have done) but it can be trickier if it's someone with whom you do want to have a relationship (family member as others have said), just not an unhealthy ones. That's when it's so crucial to have boundaries. But it's HARD!!! I think of negativity like an infection- it's easy to "catch" it... <br /><br />Thanks Oriah...<br />MiekeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3524364334037666877.post-63763470905229270542012-08-30T14:55:10.064-04:002012-08-30T14:55:10.064-04:00I could have written those opening paragraphs! I ...I could have written those opening paragraphs! I am still learning to give myself permission to not feel guilty about limiting the draining contact. I believe my loved one's need is great but I must trust The Universe will supply other ways to meet her need - & mine. Thx for sharing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3524364334037666877.post-67112220000935810202012-08-30T08:02:22.775-04:002012-08-30T08:02:22.775-04:00Yes, I have a family member with whom I limit cont...Yes, I have a family member with whom I limit contact for the same reason. One thing I do is write and send notes (by snail mail!) because I do want the other to know they are loved and not forgotten, but want to find ways to let them know this that don't offer up my energy in self-sacrifice.<br />Oriahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13153842083329682011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3524364334037666877.post-59499663458818005522012-08-30T08:00:26.447-04:002012-08-30T08:00:26.447-04:00lol- not sure even once is necessary. The thing ab...lol- not sure even once is necessary. The thing about these kind of mistakes is that they carry their own consequences so need to heap suffering on top of that :-)<br />Oriahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13153842083329682011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3524364334037666877.post-90495410380911861002012-08-30T03:06:33.736-04:002012-08-30T03:06:33.736-04:00Oh dear, I can relate. I have one of these too, ex...Oh dear, I can relate. I have one of these too, except it's a member of my family :) Fortunately lately there has been more emailing than phone calling, which lessens the drain, because I am not energetically connected to her as much that way. And I try to limit my time around her, but not always possible. Those moments of unconsciousness can be real drainers :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3524364334037666877.post-89576747492007282252012-08-30T02:45:35.851-04:002012-08-30T02:45:35.851-04:00... and only give our self a hard time, ONCE!... and only give our self a hard time, ONCE!widdershinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04205462833259334647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3524364334037666877.post-81085813621912950362012-08-29T11:33:09.153-04:002012-08-29T11:33:09.153-04:00Excellent! I made a similar mistake yesterday. &q...Excellent! I made a similar mistake yesterday. "I went unconcious for a nanosecond" - that captures it. Thanks for reminding me not to be so hard on myself and to lighten up. xxChris Vnoreply@blogger.com